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Who Am I?

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 Maybe that's the question I need to answer first in my life...  who am I? I don't know.  I know I'm a mother, I know I'm a daughter.  I know I am an employee.  I am a friend (questionable maybe, but a friend nonetheless). But who is Melinda...  who is the person I want to be?  What are my goals?  How am I going to get to those goals?  These are questions that I need to figure out for me. I feel like no one likes me.  How can someone like someone that is just existing.  I need to figure out who I am, what I believe, and I need to live by it.  No more bending for others.  No more just going along with it.  I need to believe in me, if I don't, how will anyone else? I need to figure it out, and I need to find me...  I guess, here goes my journey!
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My Story...

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 My story... It's real.  And it's mine.  And I have every right to talk about it. I'm sorry if you are hurt by the things I am saying.  I can't keep protecting you at the expense of my well being.  Its time I speak.  Its time I delve into these aches and these hurts so I can heal.  I can't keep my feelings quiet any longer.  I need to speak out, and its going to take time, but time is all we have, right? I have to find my peace.  I have to find where I belong.  I have to be okay.  And its time to start now... Maybe midlife crisis is real and that's what I'm feeling. I feel lost, I feel like a failure, and I feel like I can't succeed anywhere. I know these are lies that I tell myself, and in order to get past these lies, I have to put in the work.  This is just one of the things that I need to do. I need to find something that I have joy in everyday.  I need to start doing things for me, that I might not like, but will make me feel better (hello exercise!
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